Why the greatest gift I ever received was giving back
“I feel this boundless energy. I have never experienced this before, what is it?”
My co-worker stopped pushing the wheelbarrow and turned to me with a smile: “I know exactly what you mean. You and I are getting more out of this than just a payment. This ‘work’ rewards you in ways that nourish your soul.”
Six months earlier I had left home to fulfil my duty to German society. I was required to spend a year in service to a public need. Most of my friends performed their civil service close to home or entered the military. Luckily though I had at least a sense of adventure. And even more lucky for me was that I got one of the coveted tickets to work for a non-profit abroad.
I dreamed the year after graduating high school to be full of adventure. I was going to immerse myself in Scottish culture: probably buy a kilt, which I would proudly wear on my first visit home, maybe learn to play the fiddle and eventually be the person to uncover the truth about the Loch Ness monster.
But no. 2006 turned out to be the year in which I worked harder than ever before. A year that taught me more about life than all my 13 years of formal schooling. A year that challenged me to the core and that humbled me on a daily basis.
Reflecting on who I was as a teenager, it is safe to say that I would have not volunteered to spend a year in service to a greater cause. German society had removed the element of choice from me.
But let’s be honest, I would have never felt like I owed anything to society at that age.
No, I felt that I was owed something. What or why I could not tell you, but that was my mindset at that age.
I still work for the same organisation that offered me a place after school. Suffice it to say that I met my wife on my first day of arriving in Scotland, I was lucky to pursue my educational goals here and build a life around a meaningful purpose: giving back every day to people that need my support.
This place is not unique however, I know of many places that offer these life-altering opportunities to young school leavers. But my suspicion is that not everyone knows about what a service year abroad can do for you. Over the past 15 years, I have witnessed over 100 young adults go through a similar transformation here. They arrive as kids fresh out of school and leave as young adults. But every year I see fewer young people embark on that experience.
Germany offered around a thousand places abroad at which one could fulfil their civil service duty. I ended up spending my year living and working in a Scottish care home for adults with learning disabilities. I improved my second language skills, learned to live away from my parents, immersed myself in a new culture, met amazing people and successfully embarrassed myself at Ceilidh dancing.
But most importantly, I was free from having to uphold the personality that I had crafted within my school years. I was able to discover who I really was.
My year revealed to me that I am a great believer in challenging myself. True growth can only be found outside of your comfort zone. I know this sounds cliche, but it simply is the truth. As a single child, my comfort zone used to be spending time by myself playing video games. No personal growth there.
Then I was forced to find a way to be at ease living in a household of 10 people. This meant I was constantly sharing my time with others and I had to find a way to at peace sharing my ‘down-time’ in the company of the people I lived with. I used to rely on my parents to take care of everything back home. If I did not want to take out the trash or clean the bathroom, there was always a way out.
Now there were no ways out. People were relying on me and if I did not clean the bathroom, prepare the meal for the house or simply be on time to support someone with their personal needs, then I would break my commitment to the people that welcomed me into their home. I had to take ownership of my responsibilities and grow up.
It truly felt like I had been pushed in at the deep end. I had to learn fast and accept this new way of life as my reality. But at times I was lonely, I missed my friends and I was simply a bit homesick. But I never wanted to quit. It felt good to embrace the challenging times and fulfil this commitment all by myself.
In my role now, where I am responsible for providing school-leavers with the opportunity to spend a year with us, I have seen one big change. That is a change in parents’ willingness to let their children embark on this opportunity by themselves. Traditionally, we would have kids still in school reach out to us and find out what a year here would entail. Nowadays it is more and more common to hear from their parents first. They would call me up and check if this is the right decision for their son or daughter.
Looking back I am ever so grateful that my parents did not intervene. They let me make the choice of what I was going to do after school. I had to do all the research, contact organisations, organise my travel arrangements, etc. Sure they wanted to know where I was going and what I would be doing, but they understood that I was old enough to take on the responsibility of that decision.
I cannot overstate the benefits of truly embracing the challenge of spending a year helping others. It is one of the greatest gifts we can give young adults everywhere.
In that year, you change, you grow up, you become a better version of yourself. Through developing empathy and understanding of others, we end up developing into real assets to the people in our lives. If all young adults embraced the challenge of giving back for a year, no matter in which capacity, we would end up with a better society.
The perfect time for this is that year after graduating high school. For most, it is a time of still feeling a bit lost and unsure of the future. The urge to see the world and seek adventures is high. It is also the time in most people’s lives where our commitments allow us to take a year to fully give ourselves to a greater cause.
I believe in free choice for one’s own path in life. But at that crucial point in life for all young adults, that point right after school when so many do not know yet where life will take them. That is the golden opportunity for us, for parents, for our societies to motivate the next generation to spend a year in service. The personal growth that I see young people go through in that year cannot be overstated, no matter what they choose to do afterwards in their lives.
It is this one year that you owe to yourself; to the people in your life; to society.
It truly was the greatest gift I ever received. It was a year that nourished my soul.
